Letter to editor

Good Parenting

19 July 2013 at 01:24 | 8981 views

By Arturo Ramo, Spain.

In a book on child psychology I learned that an emotional issue for many children is the lack of self-confidence and how to get to grow up safe and form a balanced personality. The author identified three fundamental pillars: Affection, Stability and Constancy.

The child needs to feel loved by their parents and educators imbibe their virtues.

The environmental and regulatory framework must be stable. The rules of conduct in the family cannot change overnight, likewise the mood of the father, or if he is tired or things went wrong at work. The rules must be agreed to by both parents and cannot be changed without a good reason. This is stability.

Those operating norms must be constant, i.e., for all days of the week. The child can guess what will happen tomorrow remembering what happened yesterday and the day before. With these three things a child will have a reference framework that will give them security.

But often it is the parents and educators who create insecurity for children through "wobbly pedagogy." A teacher once said said that "school is where more laws are given and where they are least fulfilled." Educators, who behave like that provoke insecurity in the learner and, indirectly, they push to them to to be defiant with haughty behavior towards their parents and teachers.

Children need loving parents, stable and consistent in their rules and decisions. They need to set limits with love for the sake of the child and insist on respect for each other. Kids need strong parents who do not hesitate or falter, but they must know exactly what they want for themselves and their families. With such educators, learners feel safe, welcome and happy.

Sometimes we remember the visit to a relative or friend with a child being unfriendly, angry, tyrannical; always seeking attention and failing to obey when called to order. In these situations, older people do not know whether impose discipline or compromise to avoid a scolding that leaves the parents more uncomfortable than the child.